Absolution in love
by Gerardain
Summary: Kim's search for absolution may yeild love.


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Standard Disclaimer: Disney owns Kim Possible, all it's characters, locations and other such stuff.

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Kim Possible: Absolution in love

It was only by happenstance that Kim caught the briefest sight of the woman before the coffee shop's door swung closed. She had been sitting at an empty table simply waiting for her coffee to be finished and enjoying the brief break from various looming term papers when she saw the flash of green skin, just for a second out of the corner of her eye. That second was all it took to however launch her to her feet and out the door, all thoughts of her coffee order already forgotten. Was it her? Could it have been? Those were the questions in Kim's mind as she dashed onto the sidewalk, her eyes searching through the flowing mass of people for some sign of that same green. She was still desperately surveying when one of the baristas stuck their head out of the doorway and called to her.

"Hey Kim, your order is ready."

Kim turned back toward the barista who gave a friendly smile. Kim dejectedly decided to head back inside. Maybe she hadn't seen it, maybe she had only thought….no, she didn't want to believe that, she couldn't. It made no sense that now over two years later and completely out of the blue her mind would decide to play such a trick. As she paid for her drink she decided to ask, just on the off chance that maybe…

"Hey Carol, I know this might sound kind of like a weird question but you haven't seen any…"

Kim realized how odd asking the question would make her seem but she sheepishly continued.

"….green skinned women in here?"

Despite the oddity of the question the cashier did not blink, instead she seemed to be genuinely considering it much to Kim's relief.

"Ummm, none that I can think of, but you know I just started this week so let me ask one of the other girls."

Kim nodded and waited as the cashier walked over to where the rest of the women were chatting as they made their various orders. She couldn't hear what they said but she found herself uncommonly anxious at the possibility of the answer. What would it mean if they said yes? What would she even…

Her internal questioning was cut-off when the cashier came back.

"Your in luck Kim. Sarah says there is a green skinned women who comes in here maybe every two weeks or so. Sarah said she doesn't really talk to anyone, she just orders an irish mocha mint and sits at an empty table. She stays until she finishes her drink and then she leaves."

She felt her heart actually skip a beat at the news but did her best to appear normal.

"Did she say how long ago she was last in here?"

"Umm, I think she said day before yesterday?"

Kim thanked the woman and took her drink. Two weeks…two weeks until she could be sure, until she could say…she didn't know what but she needed to say something.

- - -

Kim slumped into her favorite chair and let her book bag drop onto the floor beside her. Her last class had seemed to go on forever, her professor droning on and on about mathematic concepts that she could barely feign interest in. After what she had learned at the coffee shop that afternoon all she had really wanted was for the next two weeks to be over but manipulating time by sheer force of will was something that was impossible even for a possible. She reached down into bag and pulled out her kimmunicator, the single keepsake of her time as a globe trotting hero that she would always carry with her. She had retired from the hero game only a short time ago, choosing instead to concentrate on college and forming a life that didn't involve being unable to hold down a steady job because you were always flying off to save someone. Kim looked down at the kimmunicator and smiled slightly. She may not have used to bust open cases anymore but it helped her keep in touch with some valuable friends. She pressed the button on the side of the unit and waited for the screen to light. It took only a second before Wade's familiar face filled the small screen.

"Kim! How's college?"

Kim smile increased at the mere sound of his voice. She really did enjoy having him as a friend.

"Hi Wade. It's fine, you know. Lots of homework and late nights writing papers but I like it. Have you heard from Ron?"

Wade shook his head as he replied.

"No, not since he began his training in Japan. You know you'll be the first person he contacts when he comes back."

"I know Wade, I just thought I'd ask."

"So, you need something Kim or did you just call because you miss my face?"

Kim gave a small laugh at Wade's joke but took a deep breathe to steady herself as she spoke.

"I think…Wade I thought I say Shego today."

Wade blinked in surprise, seemingly caught off guard by the news. It was confirmed by the surprise in his voice in as he spoke.

"Shego? Are you sure?"

Kim sighed.

"Well…no. I only saw her out of the corner of my eye while I was at a coffee house but one of the girls that works there said that there was a green skinned woman who comes in about every two weeks so that must be her right? I mean how many people with green skin are there in the world?."

Wade appeared skeptical.

"Shego vanished two years ago Kim, why would she suddenly come back now?"

"I don't know. Maybe she got bored of hiding, maybe she's getting ready to start up some crime wave, maybe…"

Kim trailed off, unable to think of any other maybes that made any sense.

"Maybe Kim, but I kind of doubt it. Shego was never the type to be subtle and hanging out at a coffee house? That really doesn't sound like a Shego type place to me."

Wade looked at Kim who seemed to really want to believe what she was saying and sighed.

"I'm still not sold Kim but I'll do some checking around and see what I can come up with."

Kim beamed happily.

"Please and Thank You Wade. You're the best."

Wade nodded in confirmation of Kim's statement but did not allow himself to look any less skeptical.

"Just be careful and don't get your hopes up. No one really knows why she vanished "

The screen went dark before Wade could hear Kim's soft reply, barely audible to anyone but herself.

"I do."

- - -

It had been two long torturous weeks since the conversation with Wade and Kim had spent what time she could spare of those days in the coffee house, just waiting. Each time the door opened Kim would glance up, equal parts fearful and hopeful that it would be her. Two longs weeks spent in that state had left Kim tired both physically and emotionally, a state that wasn't helped by her sudden reliance on coffee which she had only drank sparingly before. So it was that when the door did open and through it did walk a woman with green skin Kim found herself unable to move. She only watched as the woman walked up to the counter and ordered a drink before she took a seat at a table on the far side of the room. Kim's mind screamed at her to move, to get up and do something, but still she sat stunned.

"Shego"

The name came as barely a whisper from her lips but she knew she was right. Her once long black hair was now a short bob that framed her face, a face Kim would never forget, and she appeared somehow more…mature then Kim remembered but she knew with every fiber of her being that the woman that now sat across the room from her and silently read a newspaper was indeed Shego. It was only the fear that the chance would be lost, that Shego would leave before she could ever say a word to her that finally moved Kim from her seat.

She moved quietly across the room, her mind racing to come up with something, anything to say but as she approached the woman's table she found the only thing came out of her mouth was her name.

"Shego"

The woman looked up from her paper with a mildly confused look, her eyes showing no recognition of the name or of Kim herself.

"I'm sorry?"

Kim was fast loosing her nerve to speak to the woman she had so frequently fought and desperately tried to rush out the words she wanted to say.

"Shego, I'm so…"

The woman interrupted her before she could even really begin.

"I'm sorry. I think you have me confused with someone else."

Kim was taken aback. She hadn't expected Shego to try and deny who she was, that wasn't how it had gone in her mind over these past two weeks.

"If you'll excuse me I think my coffee's ready and I need to get going."

Kim's mind continued to race. No, no, no this wasn't right. Shego was going to leave, she had to…she had to do something, say something, anything to make her stay.

"I'm…I'm sorry. You look so much like someone I knew."

The woman nodded, satisfied and went to get her coffee. Kim followed behind still trying to find something to say that would keep the woman from leaving.

"I didn't mean to freak you out. It's just I saw you sitting over there all alone and thought you were her."

The woman laughed softly and paid for her coffee as she replied.

"I'm surprised. Do you know a lot of women with green skin?"

Kim considered calling her on that very fact but decided against it.

"Honestly? I didn't even notice at first."

"Yeah, I'll bet. Look you seem nice and all but I really do have to get going."

Kim could do little but kick herself as the woman walked out the door. She had been so close and yet she had blown it, scared off Shego before she could ever learn the truth. She was not about to give up though, not so long as a chance yet existed.

- - -

It was three weeks before Kim again saw the woman enter the coffee shop, weeks in which Kim had prepared exactly what to say and exactly how to act and it all began with approaching the woman as she again sat down at a table and waited for her coffee.

"Hello again."

The woman looked up and regarded Kim with a small amount of wariness.

"You again?"

Kim just smiled

"I just wanted to apologies again for last time. I know it must have been weird to have some stranger come up to you and start talking to you like they know you."

"Yeah…"

"And I thought the best way to say I'm sorry would be to buy you a drink."

The woman didn't look wholly receptive to the idea.

"I'm not gay."

Kim blinked, surprised.

"What?"

"Picking up women in coffee houses may be your thing, but I'm not gay so your barking up the wrong tree."

"Oh…Oh god no. No, I'm not gay either, I was just…I really am just trying to say I'm sorry, I promise."

The woman considered Kim's words before finally nodding.

"What the hell, free is free."

Kim took the seat across the table from the woman and offered her hand.

"I'm Kim"

The woman shook her hand.

"Sharon"

"So Sharon, if you don't mind me asking…"

Sharon sighed and began an apparently well practiced speech.

"Yes I've always been green, no I didn't eat grass as a child, no I'm not jealous or seasick, I'm just naturally green."

Kim was slightly taken back with the readiness at which the statement had been said.

"Actually I was just going to ask what it is you do."

'Sorry, the green skin is usually the first thing everyone asks about. I've had to put up with the jokes and questions since I was a kid so it's kind of a reflex to have to give a speech about it. The truth is I was very sick as a baby and had a lot of organ failures. The green skin was a side effect that just kind of stuck around."

Kim nodded as she listened

"Now that all that's out of the way, as to your question I'm studying to be a grade school teacher."

Kim smiled slightly.

"You must really like kids to want to spend all day with them"

Sharon scoffed slightly.

"I wouldn't go that far. Being a teacher has just always been part of my life plan and kids are a lot easier to deal with then hormone crazed teenagers."

Kim gave a soft laugh.

"That's one way to look at it I guess."

"So what do you do? Besides creeping out people at coffee shops."

"Honestly? I don't know. I'm going to college but I haven't found a major that really calls to me yet so I've been trying a bit of everything hoping I'll find something I can see myself doing for years to come. I have kind of a legacy to live up to, my mom in a brain surgeon, my dad is a rocket scientist and my brothers are skipping grades faster then you can flip through a TV."

Sharon laughed in turn

"Sounds like a lot of expectations on your shoulders. Makes me glad I'm an only child."

Kim was surprised by the revelation but did her best not to look so.

"You have no brothers or sisters?"

"Nope. My parents said that after the hell I put them through they were done with kids."

Kim noticed the cashier signaling that Sharon's drink was ready and Kim went over to pay for it. She passed it across the table as she sat back down and finished off the last of her own coffee.

"So…"

- - -

The pair continued talking well into the afternoon, each learning a great deal about the other before Sharon finally excused herself with claims of looming papers, a experience with which Kim herself was well acquainted. Kim's return home that evening was done with the sense of a first step accomplished, her kimmunicator already in hand and calling Wade before she had even landed in her favorite chair.

"I'm sorry Kim. I checked into every source I could think of. None of them have registered any sign of Shego. Nothing on any of the Interpol sites, nothing…"

Kim stopped him before he could continue to far.

"Wade, I saw her…I talked to her."

Wade took on a concerned look and asked the obvious question.

"Was it Shego?"

Kim sighed. She knew it was, she knew it as knew the sun would rise and set, and yet…

"She said she wasn't…that her name was Sharon Goode"

Wade appeared cautiously relieved.

"Then I can stop worrying about you getting fried."

Kim was quiet for a moment before finally speaking.

"No. I know what she said but it's her. I know it Wade. Her name even has Shego in it."

"Could be a coincidence Kim. Did she fire off some plasma bolts or something?"

Kim shook her head

"No, it wasn't anything as obvious as that, it's just…I don't know how to describe it, I just know it was her."

Kim reached into her bag and brought up a small plastic cup that had until that afternoon held a mint flavored drink. She held it by the rim in front of the kimmunicator, careful not to touch the sides.

"Can you scan this and run the fingerprints Wade? It was hers."

Wade looked momentarily incredulous

"You stole her cup?"

"I need to be sure Wade…I need to know it's not just me."

Wade sighed reluctantly and scanned the cup.

"Well there's only one good print left on it but it should work. It'll take some time though since it's only one print.."

Kim nodded.

"That's okay. We're supposed to go clothes shopping this weekend."

Wade appeared skeptical.

"Aren't you worried about what could happen if she really is Shego?"

Kim shook her head.

"No. If she wanted to hurt me…"

Kim trailed off without completing the statement. Wade let it drop.

"So, was she everything you remembered?"

Kim shook her head once more and took on a more quizzical tone, as if even she didn't fully understand what she was saying.

"No. She actually a lot different then I expected, a lot different then how she was. She's almost like she was when she was Miss Go, but it's like…it's like it's not so forced this time."

Wade shrugged, lost as to Kim's meaning.

"Well be careful Kim. I'll get back to you when I have a result."

Kim smiled.

"Thanks Wade."

- - -

The weekend's arrival came all to slowly but it soon was the promised Saturday and Kim found that the Saturday itself flew by way too fast. The day was spent hopping from store to store and with each outfit tried on, each dress or shirt that one modeled to the other, the two woman found they shared a great deal of similarities. Each seemed possessed of the same strong will tempered by a surprising amount of kindness, each found themselves currently between relationships, and each seemed to simply get the other person. The promised day of shopping turned into another and another and those in turn turned into semi-weekly movie and pizza binge nights. Likewise each girl found in turn that being with the other meant a time they could be more relaxed, more themselves, more at ease with who they where then any other time. This ease often came in the form of barbs and teases, a verbal sparring match that both enjoyed and neither ever wanted the other have the last word in. In essence, and in short time, each had become the preferred company of the other.

- - -

"God you have no idea how much I was looking forward to tonight. If I have to read one more psychology report on the developmental stages of a child's mind and how they relate to learning patterns I'm going to scream."

Kim laughed as she took the popcorn out of the microwave. It was her night to choose the movie and Sharon had been only all to eager to race over and see Kim's pick.

"At least your almost done with it all. My advisor is demanding I pick a major and I'm running out of excuses."

Kim plopped down on the couch next to Sharon and handed her the bowl of popcorn.

"Why don't you just pick something then?"

Kim sighed.

"I know, I know. It's just…it's what I'll be doing for the rest of my life. I don't want to wake up 20 years from now and hate my life."

Sharon shrugged.

"Whatever. So what's the movie tonight?"

Kim grinned and held up the case she had stashed under the couch, the sight of which made Sharon groan.

"Clone of Bruce Lee? Another kung fu flick? What's your obsession with seeing guys kick the crap out of each other?"

"Hey. I didn't complain when you made me watch that Audition movie. All that blood and gore…"

Kim shivered in disgust.

"Besides, who doesn't like hot topless muscled guys?"

Sharon just laughed.

"Sounds like you really need to get laid."

Kim grinned lecherously

"Is that an offer?"

Sharon grinned slightly in return.

"Get me a another beer and we'll see how the night goes."

Kim pressed play on the remote as she strolled back to the kitchen. She had beer in hand and was on her way back to the couch when a familiar tone played from out of her book bag. Kim spared a glance at Sharon, who seemed to be doing her best to follow the poor voice work of the movie, and fished her kimmunicator out of the bag. Kim dropped the beer on the couch next to Sharon before excusing herself to bathroom. Once inside she quickly answered the ringing tone, the tiny screen lighting with Wade's face in response.

Kim whispered as she spoke.

"What the sitch Wade?"

"I finally got a result off the fingerprint you gave me Kim."

Kim inhaled slightly. She had been waiting for Wade's call, knowing what he would say and yet she still found herself slightly unready.

Wade continued.

"It's not Shego Kim. I ran the print through every database I could think of, both criminal and federal and they came back with the same person. Sharon Goode, born in Carlisle Pennsylvania…"

Kim's response cut him off

"No."

Wade looked momentarily confused by Kim's reply.

"What do you mean no Kim?"

"No. Your wrong. It's Shego."

"Kim I ran everything twice just to be sure."

"She could have altered her fingerprints. We both know there are people with enough skill to do it that Shego could have gone to."

"Your reaching Kim, you know that."

"I don't care Wade. I don't care what your computer said, I don't care what she said, she's Shego, I know it…The green skin, the name, the desire to be a teacher…"

"You haven't seen her use any sort of plasma, she doesn't have any family other then her parents and you said yourself she's nothing like Shego. I've looked Kim, Sharon is a real person with a real life."

Kim hung her head, the force draining out of her words.

"Why is it so important to you that she's Shego?"

Kim's reply was soft but belied a deeper emotion.

"Because it is…because I need her to be…I need…"

Kim shut off the kimmunicator without finishing the statement. She didn't care what Wade said, she knew with every fiber of her being that Shego was the one sitting on her couch at the moment, Shego was the one that was making her laugh and feel happy and relaxed and…it had to be Shego…it had to be.

Kim did her best to calm herself as she returned to the couch. She looked over at Sharon who was watching the movie with half interest while desperately trying to stay awake. It was a battle that she eventually lost as the movie wound down it's second half, her head falling onto Kim's shoulder. Kim stared at the head of this woman who wasn't Shego , this woman she had found herself loving as the days had passed, even despite own attempts to the counter, and did the only thing she really wanted to do at that moment. Kim leaned down and kissed Sharon's lips softly, just enough to wake the sleeping woman. It was to Kim's own surprise that she felt Sharon's lips press back as the woman woke up, her eyes focusing in on Kim but her lips never parting. The two finally pulled away from each other, the unspoken emotion they had shared in the kiss hanging heavily in the room. Neither spoke or even made eye contact at first, each staring hard at the floor as they tried to understand the occurrence that had just happened. Sharon finally stood and mumbled an excuse before she dashed out Kim's door.

- - -

Kim's calls went unreturned the next day and the day after and the day after. Her plan to see Sharon at the coffee shop where they had first met likewise met with failure as weeks of waiting produced only a large amount of caffeine induced sleepless nights. It was not until almost a month has passed since Kim had seen the her that she would find contact with Sharon, though far from the method she had wanted.

The pale green envelope had been resting just past the inside of her doorway and she had almost stepped on it before she had even noticed it. She knew without opening it who it was from, but it was the fear of what it said, of what it could mean, that kept from opening it for almost an hour. Finally her need to know overwhelmed her fear and she tore open the envelope, the single sheet of paper it held spilling out onto her table. With a cautious and shaking hand she picked it up and read it's message.

"Kim, I wanted you to know that I'm leaving. I tried to tell myself that I wasn't falling for you, that you were just a good friend, but that kiss…god I can't deny how it felt even now. The way you make me feel, the enjoyment I get out of just being with you, it's better then I've ever had…but it's not what I want. The life I want, the life I've always dreamed of never included loving you. So I'm writing you this letter so you'll know the truth and you'll hate me. Hate me until everything you felt burns away, hate me until you never want to see me again, hate me until you hate me as much as I hate myself. Please."

The bottom of the paper grew wet and stained as Kim's tears fell on it. She had wanted to believe that the letter would be an explanation, an apology from Sharon for her absence but she had known the truth before she had ever even read it and now with the last of her false hopes shattered all she had left were tears and rejection.

- - - -

_The battle was long since over but the two women still stood alone in the warehouse, their words flying as hard and fast as their earlier punches had._

"_What is with you Shego? First you just quit in the middle of the battle today, then you call me back here and claim you don't want to fight anymore?"_

"_I don't Princess…I can't. Not anymore." _

"_Why?"_

_Shego growled in annoyance but relented with a sigh._

"_Because I love you alright! I wanted to deny it was happening but I can't, not anymore."_

_Kim just stood agape at the declaration, only finding the words to reply after several uncomfortable moments of silence had passed._

"_You love me? Shego we're enemies. You're the bad guy, I'm the good guy, we fight and one of us win. There is no love between us."_

_Shego shook her head._

"_I've thought a lot about it Princess. If I have to choose between what I love and who I love…you win every time. So I'm going to turn myself into Global Justice, maybe even start working for the good guys again."_

_Kim began walking toward the door, unwilling to stay in the insanity that had obviously overtaken the warehouse._

"_You've tried to kill me countless times. All you've ever done is insult me and put me down, hell the only time you've ever been nice to me was when you were forced to. I shouldn't even need to mention the fact that we're both girls. The truth is Shego, whether you choose to be a good or a bad guy things will never change between us."_

_Shego yelled in frustration as her plasma covered fist slammed into the nearby support beam, easily denting it._

"_God damn it Princess just tell me what I have to be for you to love me."_

_Kim paused at the door, already half way out, her reply perhaps a bit too harsh and a bit too honest._

"_Someone else."_


End file.
